Saying Goodbye To My Little Boy Snickers (for now)

It has been 16 years since I’ve had to feel this kind of grief again, when I had to help my rescue Pj cross over and then 5 months later, help my other rescue Billi cross over; after having them both for 17 years.

I swore I was going to take a year or year and a half off before adopting again.  They were both sick the last years of their life & I was single so I had no help caring for them.  Big talker I was.  I only lasted 14 days and adopted my Snickers.

I’ll be forever in debt to Cindy D who said she knew the minute she saw Snickers and I together, I was suppose to be his forever mommy, even though you could tell she was so in love with him.

Snickers was my best friend, my rock, my soulmate & my shadow for going on 16 years.  If I was home or he was with me out, he had to always be right by my side.

This last year he had already lost his hearing unless you yelled really-really loud and his sight was completely gone minus seeing only bright lights.  Plus trying to keep his kidney issues at bay.  I had communicated with him a lot lately asking him if he was ready to cross because I didn’t want him to suffer and he told me soon, but not yet.

But then the day came.  It is with the deepest grief, I had to help my little Snickers cross over New Year’s Eve.  Bless my husband who contacted a very kind vet that came over to our house 3 hours after being contacted, to help my baby not suffer here any longer.  Before they arrived, I sat with my Snickers gently petting him, kissing him non-stop and telling him through the biggest tears, how much I love him.  All of a sudden, he sits up, turns his head to look directly into my eyes and stares at me for the longest time.  He then laid back down again and I continued adoring him.  Then suddenly, he sat up again, turned his head to look directly into my eyes staring at me for such a long time again.  But this time he communicated, “Ok mommy, I’m ready to go now.”

Big bawling can’t even describe me then.  But as mentioned, he couldn’t see; but during this connection with me, he did see me.  I turned to look at my husband and his mouth was hanging open and he said, “Cindy, he could actually see you and looked into your eyes twice!”  There was no doubt, he truly did see me and connect fully before we had to say goodbye here.  I wrapped him in a big fuzzy blanket like a burrito and held him to me waiting the few hours before the vet would arrive.  He fell into the deepest sleep.

When the vet arrived, I carried him downstairs still completely wrapped up.  Sitting on the couch, Richie put Lollipop between us and he sat next to her so she could know, when he went to heaven.

Since losing his sight and hearing, when anyone touched him; he’d jump flinch big time until he knew who it was.  When the vet opened up the bottom of the blanket, reached in to reveal Snickers little leg to put the injections into; he didn’t flinch at all.  He continued sleeping deeply.  The vet gave the 1st injection and shortly after, Snickers started his little snores.  He always had the cutest tiny little snores.  Even the vet let out a little giggle and said, “Oh listen to his cute little snores!” Then the vet gave the 2nd injection to help him cross.  I immediately felt when my little baby’s soul left his body.  I told the vet and he checked Snickers’ heart and confirmed his heart had stopped.  He was so wrapped up in a big thick blanket, it wasn’t because I could feel his heart beat or stop beating, I just felt his soul leave.

It was a peaceful crossing for my little boy in my arms at home.  I’m so grateful this is an option now, unlike when Pj & Billi crossed.

We’ve added his cedar box of ashes & paw print  next to Pj, Billi & Richie’s dog Daisy with their collars draped upon them.  When I put his on our bedroom mantle next to our other 3 baby’s, Snickers said, “Mommy, I’m glad to be home!”  That made me smile.

I always told Snickers I loved him more than air.  He was my everything.  And that truly is the only way to describe how much I love him.  He was the funniest, most playful, smartest, most loving & caring being I’ve ever met.

But most of all, he loved BIG and still does!

He so loved playing in the lawn sprinklers, his foster mommy Cindy would turn one on for him while outside and he’d race around nuts in the water and grass.  Once she said she turned off the hose after his play as she was going inside.  She goes inside and then hears the water on again.  He had figured out how to hold the sprayer nozzle so it kept spraying water for him to play in.  He was such a smart little bugger LOL!

He loved playing in sprinklers – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ItQG-3TftM.

He loved playing soccer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-t6X0jpZJI

He loved playing football – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zvK_dHzSpQ

He loved playing footsies – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bULY2r-LOi0

He loved having a new sister and teaching her how to punk play – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3Y2cCmQ-Yo

He loved going to grandma & grandpa’s house – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aTErjjCPGY

He loved making me laugh – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt1R3xY32p8

He loved chicken jerky treats even in his dreams – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-qkCJBJNdg

He had so many nicknames, I’m surprised he knew them all…

Angel Butt

Angel Face

Doodle Bug

Doodle-Noodle-Poodle-Roodle

Honey Bunny

Mr. Snickers

My Little Coconut

Snicker Doodle

Snicker Da Pickle

Snicks

Snickys

Taser

Tiny-Mighty

[His adoption posts & photos]

[Photos the day of my baby leaving me here without him to hold]

[His paw print and ashes]

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